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Classic!

#1
Don't know how many of you have seen Airplane (19080 film for you young 'uns), but it had some of the most awesome humour anywhere, even when compared to the films today.
Got this snippet of one of my favourite pieces of dialogue from the film (and there are a lot).

Check out this vid for context http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa1rjCZxtxo

Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: [to the Second Jive Dude] Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!

Got it off this site
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/quotes?qt=qt0484164
How long is a piece of string?
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