Jokes - Printable Version

Jokes - Printable Version

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Jokes - The mysterious Mr. 4m - 07-02-2016

i recently rediscovered some of my old jokes. Posted them some years ago on Psyops.net.

"A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, What is this? Some kind of joke?"

RE: Jokes - Ch4mp - 07-02-2016

(07-02-2016, 12:26 PM)The mysterious Mr. 4m Wrote: i recently rediscovered some of my old jokes. Posted them some years ago on Psyops.net.

"A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, What is this? Some kind of joke?"

very good sir.

RE: Jokes - Smilecythe - 07-03-2016

Sounds like a typical Anti-Joke Tongue

[Image: memestache.com_155748_1332788410.jpg]

RE: Jokes - Halogene - 07-03-2016

This thread is silly in a silly sort of way.

* Halogene approves

RE: Jokes - Beagle - 07-03-2016

Here is a cute fat panda:

[Image: post-12126-Panda-Baby-Cub-Xiao-Liwu-It-s-Rzp6.gif]

and here is the joke:
Question: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
Answer: Winnie the Pooh

Here take another joke:
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

RE: Jokes - rocknroll237 - 07-03-2016

Modern feminism.

RE: Jokes - SPLAT - 07-03-2016

i got mad once and accidentally punched myself in the balls

RE: Jokes - Smilecythe - 07-04-2016

Told a friend to spell out something for me:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/en0gw8qhbvnr6lr/light%20bulb.mp3?dl=0

RE: Jokes - PinkRobot - 07-04-2016

A cute fat panda, a feminist and a testicle walk into a bar. The bartender says "How can I help you?".

RE: Jokes - aa - 07-04-2016

Heh, Smilie, we all what you needed that for. ) Nice voice, btw, maybe a bit monotonous, but overwise nice.

How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? - ((7)sin(2Pi)-(12^2+5^2)(1/13)+tan(75.963))^(1/2)

RE: Jokes - BuddyFriendGuy - 07-05-2016

(07-04-2016, 12:00 PM)aa Wrote: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? - ((7)sin(2Pi)-(12^2+5^2)(1/13)+tan(75.963))^(1/2)

So the joke is that it's an imaginary number?

RE: Jokes - The mysterious Mr. 4m - 07-05-2016

"I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave."

RE: Jokes - thimo - 07-05-2016

My accuracy.

RE: Jokes - Finko - 07-05-2016

My life.

RE: Jokes - aa - 07-05-2016

Finko's life.

I don't know, BuddyFriendGuy, maybe it is, maybe is not, maybe it is simultaneously both.

RE: Jokes - Smilecythe - 07-06-2016

What is white, blue, square shaped and vibrates?

- A laundry machine dressed up in jeans.

RE: Jokes - shogun_assassin - 07-06-2016

Guy comes into jewlery with hot blonde and tells the cashier: "Give me the most expensive ring you have. It should cost at least half a million. Here's a cheque for a million. You know what? If you don't trust me, take the cheque, call my bank and verify that it's covered by my funds and then send the ring to this adress on Monday, OK? Thanks and bye." On monday the cashier calls and the guy answers: "Oh hi. It wasn't covered, was it? Look, it doesn't matter. I fucked her already."

RE: Jokes - Smilecythe - 07-08-2016

What is green and has wings?

- Grass, I lied about the wings.

RE: Jokes - Freddy - 07-08-2016

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?
You take the "S" out of "safe" and the "F" out of "way".

Highlight for the explanation:
There's no f-in' way

RE: Jokes - aa - 07-09-2016

Somewhere is Soviet Russia:

##Thick russian accent##

"Ivan, what is vrong with you? Did you underdrink vodka?"

RE: Jokes - shogun_assassin - 07-09-2016

Tribesman tells their American, Russian and Czech prisoners: "I'll give you 2
crystal balls and one hour in tent to prepare something I've never seen
before. If you fail, we'll eat you.". After one hour he visits American
prisoner. He's handstand and juggling the crystal balls with his legs. "I've
seen that. Eat him!" says the tribesman. Then he visits Russian prisoner. His
crystal balls levitate in circle and emanate daylight. "That's very nice, but
I've seen that. Eat him!" says the tribesman and proceeds to visit Czech
prisoner. After a while the tribesman comes out of the tent shocked and says:
"I've never seen that before! He broke one ball and lost the second one!"

RE: Jokes - aa - 07-09-2016

I have heard that one, l but in a different context and with a different nationally breaking his balls

RE: Jokes - The mysterious Mr. 4m - 07-12-2016

A drunken guy walks down the street at night and stumbles across an advertising pillar. He starts walking around it. After a while he stops and yells: "They walled me in!"

RE: Jokes - aa - 07-12-2016

Roads in Russia

RE: Jokes - Freddy - 07-12-2016

(07-12-2016, 10:00 AM)The mysterious Mr. 4m Wrote: A drunken guy walks down the street at night and stumbles across an advertising pillar. He starts walking around it. After a while he stops and yells: "They walled me in!"

These drunk mathematicians...