sorry for the wording, some words might be wrong. please ask if anything is unclear
to the new version: you made the basic sound more dull (?) (you can hear the difference in the first 3 seconds). that is very good imo.
i would suggest that you make this new, high pitched sound at the beginning more clean, atm it is quite scratchy. and imo the parts from 2:08 to 2:58 is too messy. the sound which is going from left to right and back all the time is disturbing; maybe you could try it without the left-right-change?
additionally you made the whole track a bit louder. revert that!
and the end is wonderful for looping
after a bit tweaking this has to go into xonotic this is really good.
to the new version: you made the basic sound more dull (?) (you can hear the difference in the first 3 seconds). that is very good imo.
i would suggest that you make this new, high pitched sound at the beginning more clean, atm it is quite scratchy. and imo the parts from 2:08 to 2:58 is too messy. the sound which is going from left to right and back all the time is disturbing; maybe you could try it without the left-right-change?
additionally you made the whole track a bit louder. revert that!
and the end is wonderful for looping
after a bit tweaking this has to go into xonotic this is really good.